Boobies

A must-tell story:

I have invited my monolingual and her live-in cousin to my after-school tutoring. Yesterday was our first day all together, and they had to wait for their sister/cousin to come out of ninth hour so we had some time to ourselves. We were playing a made-up game, and I was very excited because Karla, the monolingual, was using self-initiated English: "Sit, Miss Sells. Come here, Miss Sells. No copy me, Miss Sells." Anyway, I was giving them some orders, like, "Walk fast. Walk SLOOOOOW, Stop!" and one of the orders was "Dance!" So, of course, we all started shaking what our mamas gave us! Karla was beside herself and yelled, "Shake your boobies!"

"What!?" I said, stopping mid-dance, hoping I misheard.

Her slightly slower cousin was quick to repeat, laughingly recalling: "She said, 'shake your boobies', Miss Sells."

Mouth agape, I covered my "boobies" protectively. "Karla!" I reprimanded.

Karla looked slightly confused, then pointed to her butt. "Boobies, no?"

I guess I've referred to the buttocks as "booty" too many times. And you know, "booby" does sound VERY close to "booty." Hmm... enunciation.

As a later note, she was also heard on the playground repeating my catchphrase: "Oh my goodness!"

Clowns and Mistold Jokes

Well, I've survived through Friday after the week of break! I severely miss that ability to sleep in until whenever I decide to arise (somehow today I set my alarm for 4:00, but woke up at 4:30). Although my week was broken up by a trip to Oklahoma on Tuesday, I still feel exhausted.

Ronald McDonald came to our school yesterday for a "Book Time" Talk. Last year, Mr. McDonald presented on, of all things, physical activity. After the presentation, students were given a coupon for a hamburger. Does something seem wrong here? I can't believe we actually spent an hour of potential instruction time sitting in the cafeteria hearing lame book jokes from a clown. The kids loved it, though.

Last night I went to the board meeting (SnoozeFest), to be there for my friend as she accepted the Teacher of the Month award from our district. Before the presentation of the awards, the board showed a clip of a local news helicopter making a visit to another elementary school in the district. The enthusiastic pilot hopped out and was milling around the crowds. A couple of times, he had pulled students to tell jokes. Here are a couple of funny moments in the video:

Pilot: What's your joke, sweetie?
Little Girl: Why was six afraid of seven?
Pilot: I don't know. Why was six afraid of seven?
Little Girl: Because eight seven nine.

Pilot: And, sir, what's your joke?
Little Boy: Knock, knock.
Pilot: Who's there?
Little Boy: Squarel (that's what it sounded like)
Pilot: Square who?
Little Boy: No! Squarel!!!
Pilot: Oh. SQUARE who?
Little Boy: No! Squarel!!!
Pilot: What?
Little Boy: SQUAREL!
Pilot: SQU-ARE who?
Little Boy: No!!!!!! SQUAREL!!!!
Pilot: Let's move on...

Oh, live television. I THINK the child was trying to say "squirrel", but it's hard to say that word 1) when you're six and 2) when you have a lisp.

Free Falling

Now that I have a week off (hallelujah chorus playing in the background), I have time to do things like... fill out a survey my sister tagged me to complete! Hurray!

4 Jobs I've Held:
1. data entry clerk at my college's admissions
2. tutor at HLC
3. total tool at La Petite Daycare/Preschool
4. test grader for McGraw-Hill

4 Films I Could Watch Again and Again:
1. "So I Married An Axe Murderer?
2. "Amelie"
3. "Bringing Up Baby"
4. "Newsies"

4 TV Shows I Watch:
1. "Beauty and the Geek"
2. "Dancing with the Stars"
3. "The Office"
4. "The Daily Show"/"Steven Colbert" (hey, it's an hour block; I can count it as one show)

4 Places I've Lived:
1. Santa Barbara, CA
2. Rescue, CA
3. Cameron Park, CA
4. Phoenix- Valley of the Sun!

4 Favorite Foods:
1. nachos!!!!! (no beans)
2. ice cream
3. potato pizza from Pizzaria Classico
4. In N Out (ooh, maybe I'll get some today!)

4 Websites I Visit Everyday (not anymore, because I had to cancel my Internet):
1. hungersite.com
2. webmail
3. Scholastic site for printables
4. this

4 Favorite Colors:
1. cranberry
2. midnight blue
3. light blue
4. brown

4 Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
1. Bookman's, with a lot of cash
2. at home with my mama
3. in Santa Barbara with my amigos
4. touring Europe

4 Names I Like But Wouldn't or Couldn't Use Myself:
1. Graham
2. Samantha (but I have a student this year who has tainted the name)
3. Shabnam (from a friend from grade school, but she had to deal with a lot of mispronunciation)
4. Octavio

4 blogging friends that I'm tagging are:
Megan Haver/Phillips
Lunderwoo
anyone else

Conferencing with Yo Mama

At my school, we have conferences twice a year: at the end of first quarter (this past Wednesday and Thursday) and at the end of third quarter (so we can say, "Sorry, Mrs. Doe, but Johnny needs to repeat third grade").

Out of my twenty-six students, twenty-four showed up for conferences. Though of course we shoot for 100%, I'm pretty proud of this near success. Last year, I was scared to death of conferences. With the child sitting right there next to their mother, looking nervous and frightened, I would have pity last minute and sweeten the sour news. I didn't LIE, per se, but I didn't exactly convey how poorly their child was doing.

I realize now what a disservice that was to both the child and the family. This year, I made a conscious effort to make sure I told the parents exactly where their child was. Here are some highlights from the last two nights:

Me, looking at a silent and somber Arnulfo: Arnulfo, are you okay? You are really quiet.
Arnulfo: I don't like talking in front of people. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Mother: Yeah, she's lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Why do you have to be so lazy?

Mama: I know, she really is a space cadet, isn't she?

Mama2: Why do you have two tardies? I drop you off!
Kid: My teacher made me late.
Me: Excuse me. I'm your teacher, remember? I did NOT make you late.

Me: Make sure she reads every night. Do you read every night, Vanessa?
Vanessa: Welllllllllllllllll........
Me: That's what I thought.

One of my favorite students has only been in the country for a year and a half. Her older brother was translating for me, and the mom had said that she worried about her daughter had trouble listening. I responded and the older brother started translating, but stopped and said, "Wait, what?" I laughed- "Are you sure it's your sister that has trouble listening?" Then, the mother went off in Spanish, and she mentioned something about the brother's listening. She motioned to him to tell me what she had said. I said, "Come on, now. What did you mom just say?" He looked at me, smiled winningly, and said, "That's confidential."