Crack?

Here's a quote from yesterday.

Child: "Oh my gosh! Look at this picture! I can see his butt crap!"

I THINK he meant 'crack.' Only one child caught it, and I just said, "I think you meant 'crack'."

Crazy...

One of my students was listening to an upbeat Disney song before Saturday School and commented, "If I had whiskers, they would move to this song." Hmmmmm......

Long December

At about 2:30, after having specials at about noon....
Ricardo: Did we already have P.E.? We DID!? I didn't even feel it!

Four of my kids were tested proficient so will now be leaving my class. It's good news in the way that is means what I'm doing is working if these kids are already proficient by the second quarter, but I don't want them to leave! I know it's greedy and wrong, but my classroom is a little like my family. It's hard to see anyone go.

A little humor

We were playing a centers game where I'm trying to get them to guess a particular word. This time it was, "A Frisbee".

Me: What often gets thrown over the fence?
Ricardo: A nerd!
Me: It sometimes gets on the roof.
Ricardo: Poop!

Kiss-ups and Cuteness

Me: It's a good thing you're cute.
Jonathan: I know, right?

Brown-nosing child of the year: You may not have given me candy, Miss Sells, but I win any way. I have the best teacher in the world.

Student: Please forgive me, Miss Sells. A minute ago I spoke Spanish. I know we're not supposed to. Please forgive me.
Me: What did you say?
Student: I said, "please forgive me..."
Me: No, what did you say in Spanish?
Student: Gracias.
Me: I think I'll let you off the hook this time. Thanks for telling me.

Student: Miss Sells. Please forgive me. A minute ago, I played with my ruler right after you told us they were tools and not toys. I'm sorry.

Check out my school on the statewide news! You can't see it, but one of my kids made a sign that says, "I love my school because my teacher teach me English." http://media.myfoxphoenix.com/KSAZ/hilites/whirlybird.html First three videos (M.C. Cash School)

Cockroaches and Craziness

Yesterday, after recess, Diana suddenly raised her hand and said calmly, "I see a cockroach."

I replied with, "Is it alive or dead?" (We often have cockroaches come out to just die).

"It's alive."

Angelie jumps on her chair, but I go on over, asking Alex to bring me a cup. It's a LARGE cockroach... about four inches long. I ask Alex if he can put the cup on top of the cockroach. He tries twice, both times having the cockroach flip the cup off itself. I grab a nearby bowl and set it on top of the cup once it's in place, though the cockroach is still fighting. A couple of the kids are trying to get a better look, so I have to tell them to sit, etc. Finally, I ask, "Who would be willing to squash the cockroach?" Alex is right next to me, and says "I will, I will!" but after he realizes the idea of putting his foot on top of that giant monster, he says, "Never mind... I change my mind." Samantha then volunteers, and comes over smiling.

Me: "Samantha, are you sure about this? I don't want you to change your mind after we lift the cup."

Samantha: "No, I'm sure."

So, we lift the cup, and Samantha, true to her word, smashes that bastard cockroach with no mercy. The kids are cheering, and the cockroach's guts are splayed about. Before I could do anything, Samantha lifts her shoe and ... SNIFFS it. Gross.

After everything is back in place and we're back to our seats, Samantha gets a worried look on her face. "Miss Sells, am I going to get rabies now?"


Later in the day, Marck asks, "Miss Sells, why do you always get the crazy kids?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Marck: "Every year you get the weird kids."

Me: "I think the real question is, do I get the crazy kids, or do I just bring out the craziness in you?"

Teresa: "Yes! That has to be it! I was not crazy in second grade and NOW look at me!!"


I love my job.

Because they said so...

"I don't play games with strangers, only strange people." - Diana

"Don't blame me, Miss Sells! You know me- I'm just lazy!" - Alex

Me: "Plug in the word into the sentence and tell me how it would sound."
Steven: "Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

In writing, comparing me to their last year's teacher:

Arnulfo: Miss Sells is not bore, but my last teacher man was she a bore.

Aranza: Miss Sells looked nice when I first saw her. Ms. ____ looked evil when I first saw her. Miss Sells is fun. Ms. ____ is annoying.

Luis: Last year's teacher was well I would said she was a little fat. Miss Sells is skinne.

Alexis: Now I have a teacher who dances all the time. I have never seen such a thing.

Funnies

Testing on sight words, Arnulfo comes to the word "upon".
Arnulfo: "Upona"
Me: "What?"
Arnulfo: "Upona. You know, like 'once upona time'?"

Yesterday, while making math posters, I was making my 4x4 when Arnulfo came to me and said, "You forgot your pimples."
"Excuse me!? My WHAT?"
"You know, your pimples. Those black dots in the inside of your eye?"
"Oh! PUPils!"

Gaby: My family and I went to the park and a boy duck was attacking his girlfriend!
Me: Oh no! Did you call the police?
Gaby: No. I thought about it. I just threw bread at his head, instead, and he stopped.

Ebelyn: Look! A karate-chopping Indian! It would be like, "Ooh-oooh-oooh-hi-YA!"

Boobies

A must-tell story:

I have invited my monolingual and her live-in cousin to my after-school tutoring. Yesterday was our first day all together, and they had to wait for their sister/cousin to come out of ninth hour so we had some time to ourselves. We were playing a made-up game, and I was very excited because Karla, the monolingual, was using self-initiated English: "Sit, Miss Sells. Come here, Miss Sells. No copy me, Miss Sells." Anyway, I was giving them some orders, like, "Walk fast. Walk SLOOOOOW, Stop!" and one of the orders was "Dance!" So, of course, we all started shaking what our mamas gave us! Karla was beside herself and yelled, "Shake your boobies!"

"What!?" I said, stopping mid-dance, hoping I misheard.

Her slightly slower cousin was quick to repeat, laughingly recalling: "She said, 'shake your boobies', Miss Sells."

Mouth agape, I covered my "boobies" protectively. "Karla!" I reprimanded.

Karla looked slightly confused, then pointed to her butt. "Boobies, no?"

I guess I've referred to the buttocks as "booty" too many times. And you know, "booby" does sound VERY close to "booty." Hmm... enunciation.

As a later note, she was also heard on the playground repeating my catchphrase: "Oh my goodness!"

Humor

"That was so funny, I can't take off my smile!" - Arnulfo

"Don't call them armpits. We're ladies. Call them underarms. Once they start to get all stinky and nasty, then they're armpits." - Agilita