Conferencing with Yo Mama

At my school, we have conferences twice a year: at the end of first quarter (this past Wednesday and Thursday) and at the end of third quarter (so we can say, "Sorry, Mrs. Doe, but Johnny needs to repeat third grade").

Out of my twenty-six students, twenty-four showed up for conferences. Though of course we shoot for 100%, I'm pretty proud of this near success. Last year, I was scared to death of conferences. With the child sitting right there next to their mother, looking nervous and frightened, I would have pity last minute and sweeten the sour news. I didn't LIE, per se, but I didn't exactly convey how poorly their child was doing.

I realize now what a disservice that was to both the child and the family. This year, I made a conscious effort to make sure I told the parents exactly where their child was. Here are some highlights from the last two nights:

Me, looking at a silent and somber Arnulfo: Arnulfo, are you okay? You are really quiet.
Arnulfo: I don't like talking in front of people. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Mother: Yeah, she's lazy. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Why do you have to be so lazy?

Mama: I know, she really is a space cadet, isn't she?

Mama2: Why do you have two tardies? I drop you off!
Kid: My teacher made me late.
Me: Excuse me. I'm your teacher, remember? I did NOT make you late.

Me: Make sure she reads every night. Do you read every night, Vanessa?
Vanessa: Welllllllllllllllll........
Me: That's what I thought.

One of my favorite students has only been in the country for a year and a half. Her older brother was translating for me, and the mom had said that she worried about her daughter had trouble listening. I responded and the older brother started translating, but stopped and said, "Wait, what?" I laughed- "Are you sure it's your sister that has trouble listening?" Then, the mother went off in Spanish, and she mentioned something about the brother's listening. She motioned to him to tell me what she had said. I said, "Come on, now. What did you mom just say?" He looked at me, smiled winningly, and said, "That's confidential."